I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
