Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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