He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
