my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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