I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
