handjob tips. give me some.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
