i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
ttyl tear gas
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
