the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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