happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
