My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
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I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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