I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
