Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dude. stop pregaming the food network.

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  (215): im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL (609): dude. stop pregaming the food network. http://tfl.nu/x76m
  Replies (6) Good night (2286) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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  (386): you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt http://tfl.nu/6l3r
  Replies (9) Good night (1165) Bad night (3212)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

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  (646): lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact http://tfl.nu/9ru6
  Replies (26) Good night (6872) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

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  (573): Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend. http://tfl.nu/0oem
  Replies (15) Good night (4110) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.

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  (617): I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw. http://tfl.nu/9aqz
  Replies (17) Good night (4740) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?

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  (516): You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you? http://tfl.nu/3dbu
  Replies (8) Good night (4777) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"

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  (727): Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore" http://tfl.nu/cs3y
  Replies (16) Good night (5056) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.

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  (573): A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb. http://tfl.nu/1cz1
  Replies (6) Good night (3472) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him

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  (201): He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him http://tfl.nu/dx9z
  Replies (13) Good night (1655) Bad night (2835)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me

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  (847): cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me http://tfl.nu/qd03
  Replies (44) Good night (1447) Bad night (5876)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.

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  (909): I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic. http://tfl.nu/3gxu
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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  (+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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  (720): We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out. http://tfl.nu/ioyx
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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  (610): I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom http://tfl.nu/d66w
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.

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  (989): yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know (1-989): im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology. http://tfl.nu/m7q7
  Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (261)

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