I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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