Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  i just google imaged poop.

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  (865): i just google imaged poop. http://tfl.nu/6d8g
  Replies (17) Good night (822) Bad night (2819)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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  (609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym
  Replies (37) Good night (5323) Bad night (925)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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  (623): Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth? http://tfl.nu/7zio
  Replies (34) Good night (912) Bad night (11924)
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  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
  Replies (28) Good night (7922) Bad night (846)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1450) Bad night (8995)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.

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  (713): Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery. http://tfl.nu/8vi4
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (774)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits

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  (719): I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits http://tfl.nu/6x3w
  Replies (17) Good night (1578) Bad night (779)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

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  (503): Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands. http://tfl.nu/rsji
  Replies (12) Good night (2628) Bad night (752)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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  (612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (586)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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  (618): I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60 http://tfl.nu/6i7r
  Replies (10) Good night (1482) Bad night (1137)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (543)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.

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  (609): if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened. http://tfl.nu/us8v
  Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (699)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg

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  (919): We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg http://tfl.nu/wnu9
  Replies (6) Good night (1097) Bad night (565)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.

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  (989): I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair. http://tfl.nu/f3z5
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (370)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

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  (908): I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work. http://tfl.nu/8nqq
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (320)

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