so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
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Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"