why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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