Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's shark week go big or go home
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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