WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
