OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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