a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
