So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
