he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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