Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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