That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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