Girls should come with a carfax report
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
