They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
