I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
