Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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