he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
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i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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