when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
