OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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