worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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