Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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