I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
