Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
