Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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