Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
