I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
