I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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