i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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