Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize