Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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