in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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