They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
