I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
