I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
