writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
