I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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