took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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