I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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