is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
