i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
