i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
