On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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