i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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