so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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