Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
