I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize