I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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