if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
