i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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