it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
