Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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