Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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