I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They have beer where we have blood.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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