just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We're too hungover to prance.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize